Why Not Me Sung By The Judds

Baby don’t you know this country girl’s still free?
Why not me?

Probably not you 
because your sister is a lot hotter.
Probably not you 
because you ride the third wave of feminism
like a bowling ball.
Probably not you because you keep asking us,
because your mouth is always open,
because your hair is oceanic and not in a good way,
because you are a meat tray offered up to the masses
and we specifically prefer an icy oyster shell to shuck.
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