The Friend System

People will be judged on the basis of their ability to deal with eccentric behavior. Prospective friends who ignore or enjoy inconsistency and flightiness will be valued above others. Prospective friends who exhibit intense moodiness or an inability to commit to friendship will be discarded. Prospective friends will be subjected to a 1-3 month hazing period before being offered personal disclosure. Once personal disclosure has occurred, friend status is assured.